So what if i stayed up late to try and finish the gift. So what if i sacificed my time, effort and slp to make the gift. So what if i spent lotsa money on it. Everything still remains the same. They ask me why do i even bother doing so much. I ask myself that question too. But the ans remains unknown. Or is it just me tryna run away frm it? I'm sick and tired of these stuffs seriously. But i can't help it. Everyday, every moment, that topic nv fails to haunt me, making me depressed, sad, emo. Act like i'm fine, yeah i can do that. But it fades away over time, when i get tired. I don't want them to see me in this state. They've done alot and yet i'm still like this. I'm just disappointing them and i don't want to. Everything they said, sent me into deep thoughts. I know i shld stop but i just can't. All the scoldings, advices, concerns, consolations, everything. I feel like a third party, maybe i'm the one now.